There's always one. Or in this case two.

Andy's side of the family celebrates Mother's Day with a brunch type thing where the entire family comes together to eat, drink and contemplate ways to pamper the women of the family. It's great. Especially when it isn't my year to host. (Thanks Danielle and David)

Since everyone would be  under one roof, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to get one photo of every member. I don't usually take a lot of pictures when we visit with Andy's family--I'm not sure why. I guess because they all live in the area, I don't feel like I have to capture the moments we have together since we get to see them so often. But how will I remember those times in the future if I don't take a picture now? I can't even remember what I had for breakfast for heaven's sake. So, I am going to try to be more diligent about getting candid snapshots in the future--well at least until someone yells at me to put the camera away. Husbands don't count though as I'm quite immune to him being annoyed with me. 

First up, we have PopPop playing tickle games with Amaya. I just love the look on her face here. You can see how she has one shoulder all tensed up from the tickle, but she's trying to be all nonchalant about it. Not even 2, and she's already too cool.

Adam and Noah. Another priceless look. "Hey dad, what's with the crazy lady? Is she safe?"



This one--well he's lucky I didn't leave him there to live with Aunt Danielle. Do you know what he said as we were driving to their house? "This is good driving Mama." Which would have been awesome--if I had been the one driving. I wasn't. It was Drew.




Gran started a tradition long ago where the mothers of the mothers bought them presents too. Did that make sense? No? Let me try again. Ok, so normally children buy gifts for their mothers right? Well, Gran started buying a gift for her daughter (Jan) every year too. Now, Gran buys gifts for Jan, Danielle, Me, and Jenn--and Jan does the same. Plus the gifts that we buy for Gran and Jan--my head spins just thinking about it.  So when we get together on Mother's Day, the house looks like a Hallmark gift bag truck exploded in there. That's just a small piece of the pile in the picture below. Not that I'm complaining. No way. I adore presents.

Nana does a mean sock puppet. It's pretty much a given after spending years in a kindergarten classroom. And Nate does a great job pretending to be wary of said puppet. He's destined for Hollywood. Just remember, you saw him here first. Finder's fee??



There she is, the saint that volunteered to host the brunch. Do you think we drove her to drink?



Or was it him?


No, couldn't be. After all he did all of the cooking. You might remember that when I hosted Mother's Day, I'm the one who had to cook and I was pregnant no less! I hope Drew took note, so when my turn rolls around again, he'll be aware of the  proper protocol.

Jenn and Noah. Glad to see he looks less concerned with questioning my sanity. He's warming up to me. Only took 5 months, too. Has to be a new record.



And that's it. So you may have noticed that I'm missing a picture. Or two. I don't know how Gran and Drew escaped my lens. I think it must be a conspiracy. So just so you don't forget who these people are, I've taken the liberty of including previous portraits of them from my gallery . Purely for reference purposes of course.

Gran:

And Drew:

 Maybe next time, he won't be so eager to hide when I try to take his picture?? I never said I'd play fair.

Treasure Hunting

I really love antiquing/junk shopping. I don't know why I don't do it more often. Oh wait, I do have a small inkling. I believe it has something to do with how a pair of troublesome preschoolers wouldn't mix so well with a display of highly breakable, expensive objects.

Yea I know I could go alone. But, it's just way more fun to go with friends, right? People who can give you their opinions on things and help you spot the hidden treasures you might have missed.

Yes, it's definitely better to have a shopping buddy or two. Especially when those friends not only get, but happily accommodate your need to take silly photographs of them pretending to pick their teeth with antique antlers. At least, I hope she was pretending. Danielle's dentist might need to step in on this one.

It's also nice to have someone actually look at the camera with a smile as opposed to the freaked out look strangers give me when I try to get a portrait of them holding random objects.

And if I'd gone alone, who would have taken this picture of me wearing this lovely crown. It was labeled "Queen of the Lovlies" and if that isn't me, then I just don't know who I am anymore.

Having company on these kinds of excursions is also beneficial when you come across creepy dolls, monkeys or clowns. Like say this wall ornament/plaque/atrociousness:

Seriously, why was this ever made? Why?  I find it comforting to be surrounded by people who understand the hysterical, completely unhinged giggle that slips out when I stumble upon something so wrong.

Finally companions are nice to have along when you just need a little help creating that perfect, creeptastic vignette.

I think Danielle and I nailed the crazy old Victorian cat lady's parlor theme, wouldn't you agree? It's really a shame none of us wanted to purchase these items to display in our own homes. Maybe next time. So what did I get? Glad you asked.


First,I got this pretty little luggage rack for the lake house. I've been saying that I need to get some of these for about 4 years now, but I've not wanted to pay $100 for the ones I've found.  Price: $20

This fun Tom Thumb cash register because it's red and will look nice up in my glass display cabinets. Also I like to press the buttons to make the price appear in the little window. Price: $19

And my most favorite of all pieces--this old black sorting cubby thingamabob. Price: Let's just say Drew doesn't need to worry about buying me something pretty to atone for his firing me sins anymore.

Isn't it wonderful?? I just love the little numbers underneath the slots:

I've already gotten the man to hang it on the wall, so now I'm on the hunt for a little console table or bureau to pace under it.

I think that means I might have to hit a few more junk stores--anyone game?

7 AM Drive In

When I opened Chase's bedroom door this morning, this is what I found.

Chase informed me that he, Orace the duck, and all of the cars were watching a movie. And not just any movie but a very specific film. Its name? Jiggers of Jigger. I don't think I've heard of that one before. I sure hope it's G-rated. Wouldn't want any angry mama calls originating from the Radiator Springs area code.

That's right. I've been fired. By my own husband.

Yesterday, Drew informed me that he plans to eliminate my position at his company. When I asked why on earth he would do such a thing, he mumbled something along the lines of needing to "cut the fat from the budget" and "hire someone who will actually attend the office Christmas party". As you can imagine, I'm shocked and appalled. I'm quite sure I never read anything in my contract that said I actually had to go into the office to do actual work. Ridiculous.

So, this weekend, I'll be licking my wounds by indulging in pedicures and dinner with Eva and Adriana tonight, body combat Saturday morning, and antiquing with my sisters (in law) in the afternoon. I might even try to sneak in a movie somewhere if I can get away with it. Anyone care to join me??

I'm sure Drew feels extremely guilty, and I really don't want that. No, certainly not. I think the best thing for him to do is to buy me something pretty as a peace offering to smooth over that whole firing me thing. And, well looky here! I happen to have thrown together an entire outfit that he could buy  me at ModCloth. And he says I'm inefficient. Pa-Shaw!

ModCloth Spree by yellioli featuring Jack BB Dakota dresses

Items in this set:
American Beauty Rose Dress, $60
Out of Your Dreams Top, $28
Your Vest Friend, $62
Twinkle Toes T-Strap Flat, $28
Shopping at the Bit Bag, $60

Applying for the Position of Honorary American Daughter

Eva and Kyle came over this afternoon for a play date which was great and all but not usually something that I'd write a blog post about. Except that when Eva showed up at my door she held in her hands a pretty, polka dot gift bag. Ya'll know how much I love presents...

Her mom brought me jasmine tea all the way from China! I have no words to describe how much I love the smell of jasmine tea. It's so sweet and calming that sometimes I spend 20 solid minutes just sniffing my mug. Of course, then my tea gets cold, but that's why microwaves exist, right?

I was so excited that I had to open the canister as soon as she handed it to me to make myself a cup.  And that cute little tea scooper thingamabob--oh my goodness! It makes me giddy just  to look at it! I think I'd like Eva's mom to become my honorary Chinese mother. Think she'll adopt me as such?

I'm not sure if Eva realizes just how awesome a gift this is. Not only is it tasty and pretty to look at, but jasmine tea is my go to 'drug' when the kids have me stressed out with their endless bickering, temper tantrumming and all round pain-in-the-butting. Given how often my children engage in those activities I'll be lucky if this canister lasts a month. I'm kidding. I hope.

Well, I'll just have to try to ration it out so that it lasts a long time. Of course, Eva tells me not to worry and to administer the tea as needed since her mom can always just bring me more--but I think customs might take a special interest in someone trying to carry a kilo of tea into the country. Getting her in trouble with the US government doesn't seem like the best way to say thanks, you know??

I can't understand why they're always so tired when they leave.

I mean, life is pretty relaxing here at Club Mellon. It's just a walk through the garden with plenty of time to stop and smell the flowers along the way. There's also tree inspection:

Big brother needs a turn too of course.

Maybe Grandpa can give us a better view?

Hey, we kind of like it up there. We'll go ahead and make ourselves comfortable. 

Ok enough of that. Time for ring around the rosie:

5 minutes later still rosying:

10 minutes later still rosying:

15 minutes: Yep the ringing just won't end:

Well, unless it's time to tackle Grandpa. We can stop for that.

But only for a minute. Hey where'd Grandpa go??

If I were a betting girl, I'd wager he'd slipped away to the couch for a little snooze. Not that I have any idea why he'd think he needed one or anything. 

Easy as 1, 2, 3

I've had a few people ask me how I do my menu planning, so today I thought I'd share my process here with you. I've been doing my grocery shopping this way for a few years, and I find that it really works for me--most of the time. The one problem I've encountered is when something I make doesn't turn out as expected--like say when a pork tenderloin that was supposed to be done after 30 minutes is still completely raw--I'm often at a loss for what to fix instead. When this happens, I just look at Drew with pouty lips and sad eyes and say, "I tried Drew, I really tried". Then magically fifteen minutes later a Panera sandwich will appear before me. It's amazing.

Ok, back to the topic at hand. 

Mellon's Weekly Menu Planning Step One: Choose Your Recipes

 I could be really involved with this and choose things that are on sale or that I can use the leftovers for something later in the week. But, I'm not. I just flip through my handy book of favorite recipes and pick which ones I want to make.

Mmmm Chicken Burrito Casserole. That's a good one. We'll have that on Tuesday.

Mellon's Weekly Menu Planning Step Two: Record

Since, I have the short term memory of a piece of sock lint, I find it helpful to write down my menu choices in my day planner. I try to plan the more complicated dishes for the days when I don't have the kids all day. Thus,Tuesdays and Thursdays are known as casserole days in the Mellon house. Beanie Weenies also. Or if it's been a really trying day--bowls of cereal with milk. 

Did you notice the 'Oven 9-1' on Tuesday there? Since I blamed the raw pork on a broken oven, Drew scheduled a repair visit. Fun.

Also please note that I don't cook on the weekends. Ever.  Weekends are for TGIFridays and Chick-fil-A. And mooching off of family members.

One final thing--if I make something big--like Chili--I'll put the leftovers in the freezer. Then, I'll flip forward a a couple of weeks in my calender and write "Chili--frozen" on one of the days. That way I remember to use it. Clever, yes?

Mellon's Weekly Menu Planning Step Three: Shopping List Creation

As I choose each recipe, I write down any needed  ingredients on my shopping list--that way I'm sure to have everything required. Unless I forget and leave a filled bag in the grocery cart. It's been known to happen. Several times.

And that's it. Pretty simple, right?

Choosing my battles since 2006

My philosophy: Motherhood is a battlefield, and some skirmishes just aren't worth the loss of resources it would take for me to engage. Well most of them actually.

Having been in this war for just under 4 years, I think that I've gotten really good at choosing when I will need to pull out the big guns, and when it's better to just retreat and live to fight another day.

That is why on an 84° May day, my kids looked like this:

In case you missed my daughter's foot attire:

Yes, that would be one just-a-tad-too-small brown shoe and one pink snow boot.

And I know what you're thinking right now: "Big deal. So you let your kids wear winter clothes in the house on a spring day. So what." And I'd agree with you, if that were the end of it. But it's not. Because you see, these pictures were taken right before we had to leave. I did try to convince them that the hats weren't necessary, but they wouldn't listen. I even offered Amaya a pony, a trip to Disneyland and a purple alligator if she'd just wear a matching pair of shoes--any pair so long as they matched. No dice.

Now I had a choice. I could demand that the little urchins shape up and rid themselves of the offending outerwear. That course of action would undoubtedly lead to screaming, kicking and tantrums that could rock their socks off--literally. Or I could just let them wear their silly little get ups out in public because really--what's the big deal? So into the car we went:

And from the car, into the gym dressed like colorblind snow bunnies they trotted. We did get more inquisitive looks than normal that day. First someone would catch a glimpse of us, then you could see her physically stop and do a double take followed swiftly by a surreptitious glance in my direction to see what a real live, insane mother actually looks like. Next time, I think I'll wear my own toboggan and mittens so that I can really do the image justice. Heck, I'll even throw in a stuffed squirrel on a leash if it means I might be able to get an early discharge for reasons of insanity. War's tough.

That R isn't really important is it?

Until further notice, the Mellon house is now operating as a Spoons Only jurisdiction. Why? Well, just watch the video, and I think you'll have the answer to that question my friends.

Warning: The following video contains unintentionally obscene language from the under 2 set.



So I'm sure you will understand our need to decline any and all invitations that involve eating in the presence of polite society. Let's hope she gets those Rs down real quick like.

Boden Love

Did you happen to hear that high-pitched squeal a couple of hours ago? Well, that was me when I tried on my new skirt from Boden. Oh, how I love it. And the sandals! The flipper-floppers with buttons-buttons!--on the straps that fit my wide feet! Oh, be still my heart. And do you know what fate did? That little devil sent me an email today that has a 20% discount offer from Boden. Ok, maybe it was great marketing, but I'm going to call it fate. I think that will go over better when Andy asks me why there's yet another charge from Boden on the AmEx.

Do you know what else I'm loving? The Hipstamatic App for the iPhone. It's even better than the Photogene one. Check it:

I think perhaps I was born in the wrong decade.

If anyone has the urge (need? desire? compulsion?) to spend $150 at Boden and would like me to send her the 20% off email, just let me know. I'll shoot it right on over to you. And no, I'm not being paid in any way to share this with you. Boden has no idea who I am--a fact that causes me to sob into my pillow every night. Cause how cool would it be to be tight with the head designer of Boden? My dreams are filled with visions of samples sent for testing and brainstorming sessions surrounded by fabrics, shoes and coffee. Excuse me, I'm going to need a minute here.

Quotable Chase

Mama: Were you a good boy in school today?
Chase: Yea. Except I didn't pay attention in music.
Mama: You weren't a good listener?
Chase: No, I wasn't paying attention.
Mama: Well, are you sorry you weren't paying attention?
Chase: No.
Mama: Will you pay attention next time?
Chase: No.
Mama: No?
Chase: Maybe Friday.


Chase: I'm funny all the time. 


Chase (After a pile of cars came crashing down): My bad.


Chase: My room's a disaster area.
Mama: Why is that?
Chase: The cars did it.


Amaya: NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!NO!
Chase: My sister is out of control.

and finally

Chase(as he's in the middle of vomiting all over me): I'm sorry I throwed up on you Mama.
Mama: It'll be ok.
Chase: Go take a shower now Mama.
Mama: Love you kid.

Tweets Decoded

I'm not sure if you've noticed or not, but somewhere in the left column over there lies a widget that displays my Twitter feed. Well, my mom noticed it, and she often requests that I explain what on this great green earth a particular tweet was about. It's understandable--having only 140 characters means that I have to be concise, and if you've read any of this blog then you know that isn't one of my strongest suits. And if the woman who gave birth to me doesn't even understand my ramblings, then I imagine there are others out there just as confused. So, I've decided to devote this post to attempting to clarify a weekend's worth of Mellon's tweets. Are your ready? Ok, let's start with Friday afternoon:

Today: Top Five Clumsiest Days of All Time. Seriously, I think more ground was covered by my tripping over it than by my walking on it.

Well, I think this one is pretty clear, but perhaps it doesn't get across just how klutzy a day I was having. It  all started when I dribbled half of my coffee down my shirt, continued as I tripped my way through the shoe store, was worsened by the continued dropping of any and every item I attempted to grasp in my fingers, and culminated with my nearly falling out of the pedicure chair not once but twice.

I told Drew about my trials in great detail as we drove to Richmond Raceway-which now that I think about it, I'm not sure letting me loose among blow torches and power tools was the wisest idea. Still, the point here is that the man was well aware of my balance difficulties. So why in the name of all that is sane would he climb down from the pit box and then continue on his merry way without so much as a backward glance to see if I needed  help getting down? Seriously, does this ladder-like thing look like something I should be trying to go down, face-forward, wearing heels without help on even my most graceful day??

No. Luckily for me, one of the Braun Racing guys stepped up and offered his hand like a true gentlemen should. I hope Andy took notes.

Next up, Saturday morning:

I'm up. However, chipper is a bit much to ask for with only 5 hours sleep to go on.

I'd already made plans to go yard sale hopping with the girls on Saturday before Drew sprung the whole drive 3 hours to Richmond, watch a race, and drive 2.5 hours back idea on me. Needless to say, when I pried my eyes open at 6:15, there was no danger of me being mistaken for the poster child of morning people. I use my exhaustion as an explanation for the continuation of my clumsiness. I think Teresa probably has bruises on the backs of her heels from the 1,001 times I stepped on them. And she never once kicked my shins in retaliation. I wouldn't have blamed her, I totally deserved it. 

Getting up that early was worth it though. I found lots of treasures with this one being the find of the century: 

I'm sure it was quite a sight to watch me and a very pregnant Teresa try to fandango the thing into her car. Amaya loves it even though I'm not so sure she really needed any more encouragement along the lines of her thinking that she's a princess. 

The next tweet came shortly after I returned home on Saturday: 

Brian must know that his actions are not without consequence. I trust, then, that he is prepared for war? 

I left my car at Teresa's so she could drive cause, well, you know I suck at driving. When we returned I found my car in this state: 

  And this was even before he'd heard how I was threatening to buy a WVU onesie for their new baby. Of course, he has loudly proclaimed his innocence going so far as to tell me that I will find his fingerprints nowhere on the vehicle. Like that proves anything. He probably used Allie's hand to deface my lovely car. All I can say is that you better watch your back, Brian. I see some gold and blue in your future son. 

Mellon's Month Day 1 saw the pinching of baby cheeks, breakfast with the Gs of GNO, & an M&M Sonic Blast. 30 more just like it please. 

This one is easy. May is Mellon's Month because my birthday is the 31st. I think that one day is simply not enough time to fully indulge me, so I've proclaimed the entire 31 days to be mine. The first day was a great way to start the celebration as what could be happier than breakfast with the Girls of  Girls' Night Out, (G's of GNO. Get it??) baby cheeks and M&M Sonic Blasts? 

The next tweet came Sunday evening: 

In point of fact, there is no such thing as too much hot water when you have puke dripping from your hair down your back.  

Adam had come over to visit with Baby Noah. (more baby cheeks!) When he was leaving Andy, Amaya and I went outside to ooh and ahh over his new car. Chase had been coloring at the kitchen table, and I didn't even think about telling him we were going outside. 

Well, when we came inside, the little man was having a breakdown upstairs screaming: "Mama, where are you??". Poor little guy was practically hyperventilating.  He has a very sensitive gag reflex, so all of that heavy breathing and gulping ended up making him hurl.  Lucky me, I happened to be holding him at the time. So, my hair, my shoulder and my back were covered in puke. As you can imagine, I headed straight to the shower as soon as the kid had been calmed down. Trust me: there is no such thing as too much hot water when you're covered in regurgitated food. 

And that brings us to today's entry:

I'd like to call in my understudy to play the role of Laura today.

Cause dude, I'm wiped. But wouldn't you know that flighty understudy was nowhere to be found when I needed her. She's so fired.  

 

Burn Rubber

 I finally got to go to my first NASCAR race of the season. I think Drew put off taking me for as long as possible because he thinks my schmoozing skills are lacking. I'm pretty sure that my contract states that my only job is to stand there and look pretty though. I need to contact my union rep.

It was a night race in Richmond, and I've decided that I like the those kind the best. At least when the weather is as perfect as it was on Friday night anyway. I've also decided that Brian Scott should be my new BFF. Here's why:

• Get it? Brian, from Family Guy with a Stop Sign??? Hi-lar-i-us (I'll explain later mom)
• Also, on the way to driver introductions, Mr. Scott stopped to talk through a fence with some mini-fans while most of the other drivers sailed right on by them without so much as a second glance
• Plus, I've always wanted a NASCAR driver for a BFF

 There are of course some obstacles to this occurring:

• Long distance friendships are hard to maintain let alone start completely anew
• He doesn't seem like the chick flick-watching type
• Since the extent of our interaction was "Hello, Nice to meet you, Good luck", I imagine he'd find it a bit odd if I started texting him hourly about which shirt I should buy or what I should fix for dinner. He might even consider it stalking. There are laws against that you know. I could get in trouble.

After careful assessment of the pros and cons, I've decided that it's pretty much even odds at this point. Guess I'll just leave it to fate.

Moving on. BigSpot.Com was an associate sponsor for this race. Andy was quite taken with how snazzy his logo looked on the back of the car.

I agreed that it was great, but I thought that our "official" picture should be taken in front of the 11 as that would make for a way cooler picture than the rear end of a car.  What do you think?

 I'm sure you agree with me, right? If not: lie. As per the usual procedure, my opinion was taken under consideration and then duly ignored. 

I know what you're thinking right now. You're thinking, "What in the heckfire is an @Spinnawitz?"

This is an @Spinnawitz:

He's the PR guru for the 11 car. He was also in cahoots with Drew over that whole "Let's blackmail Laura with threats of mass producing this horrid picture of her" plan. I think he may have felt a bit repentant though as he did bring me this as a peace offering:

If he includes an ice-cold milk to dunk them in next time, I'll consider the entire matter forgotten. Yea, I'm that easy.

At this race, I got to spend a lot of time down below watching the pit guys in action. Up in the pit box, I didn't realize that they did more than what I saw when the car came to pit. As far as I knew, they disappeared in a poof of smoke and light when the car left pit road.  But they do all kinds of neat stuff down there--the most fascinating of which was by far tire dissection:

I have no idea what this guy is doing or why he's doing it, but boy was it cool to watch. And it was here that I discovered my latest career aspiration:

I want to be in charge of the blow torch! I mean, Drew says I can't drive a race car because I'd be Death on Wheels, so that should make me the perfect person to bring death to the tires via shooting flames, yes? I think I have found my calling. When can I start?