Thursday, December 01, 2011


When Tangled came out, Amaya couldn't say Rapunzel, so she called her Papuzzled. Which is what I am when I look at this picture:

I mean really. How does one haircut make my little Petunia look so grown up? It must be some kind of illusion or something. There's no way my daughter is actually getting older. Turning into a little girl. Uh uh. No way.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Into every life a little rain must fall

Mine came first thing this morning and was more like hail--big giant golf ball sized chunks of it.

Which is why I'm so grateful that my students chose this day to tell me that I look like I'm 24 years old. And there's the sun again.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

Piece A? Haven't seen it.

 She's quite a help that girl.

And here is the finished product:
Huh? You want to know what happened to the two bottom drawers? It was a design decision. Yea that's it. I'm not fooling you am I. Ok then, just go ahead and file Furniture Assembly under Jobs Not For Laura along with all the other occupations that require the use of complicated tools like screwdrivers.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Clink Clink Clink

My life right now. Twisting along to the beats the Wheel of Fortune lays down as it spins round and round. Where will it stop? Where will that shiny pointer land? I don't know. 

That's why this life thing is called a game.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Please Continue

Amaya: Mama, know why I'm brushing my teeth?

Mama: Why?

Amaya: Cause I have stinky breath.

Mama: You have stinky breath?

Amaya. Yes, stinky breath like Iverson.

Mama: Then please, brush away.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

But I like Peanuts

I think I'd label this an Ad Campaign Fail. Darrin Stephens would never have let something like this happen.

Not the sweetest sugar in the soda

It occurred to me around 3/4 of the way through a 24 oz bottle, that perhaps Diet Mtn Dew wasn't the best beverage to be drinking at 10:30pm.

Farms Farms Everywhere There's Farms

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Out of the Mouths of Fifth Graders

"Mrs. L, while I was in the bathroom--ya know--just doing my thing...the curtain fell down."

Thanks for the update kiddo.

Monday, October 17, 2011


I smell like vinegar. File under: hazards of being a science teacher.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

I don't have to like something to accept it. Approving of and understanding are two totally different concepts.

Friday, October 14, 2011

When in doubt, choose absurdity

I don't understand someone who constantly shoves the rules in your face:
"No we can't do that...this is how it's done"
But will then turn around and completely disregard those exact same rules
when they interfere with her own desires. 
"Yea, they say that, but it's ok to do it this way instead."
Until you try to do the same thing, then it's a 180° flip back to:
"Oh no, you can't do that. Rules are rules."

It just makes me wonder--why would anyone value being in control so much more
than being a rational, clear thinking human in possession of common sense?
What exactly does a person think will happen if she allows another to think for herself?
 Rebellion? Riot?
Or a Revolution?
Ahhh there it is.
Can't allow that.
Better to go with
Oppressive ridiculousness.
When in doubt,
Choose absurdity.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Padded cells should be color coordinated

Just because things have always been done a certain way,
It doesn't mean that's the only way they can be done.
If not being happy with the status quo makes me crazy,
then go ahead and have me fitted for my straight jacket.
I prefer purple but blue will do.
Just no yellow, it's too damn chipper for insanity.

Monday, October 10, 2011


Isn't it odd how the weight of the unknown
can be so crushing upon one's chest?
I say odd, because when you think about it:
The unknown is nothing. It doesn't exist.
So how can something nonexistent
be so damn asphyxiating?

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Lost Keys

Life has a way of smothering out the dreams we have for ourselves. Obstacles and hurdles. Setbacks and stops. There are no promises in this world. We aren't handed a magic key that unlocks our potential and paves the way toward days filled with sunny walks in fields of wildflowers. No magical being waving her wand and granting us our every desire. No security in a higher power standing behind us saying not only can we have it all; we will have it all. There just aren't any guarantees that you will ever be what you want to be, what you know you should be.

But.  No one ever told us we could walk on the moon either.

You want it?
You make it happen.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Two Thoughts Tuesday: The Little Engine That Could...Maybe Not.

1) I almost always try to do my best. Granted, the quality of my individual best can vary greatly with some days' bests being significantly better than others'.  Judging from the number of things I've dropped, broken or misplaced already this morning, I am going to go out on a limb and say that today will be one of those 'others'. You've been warned.

2) You know what's odd? Often the less sleep I get, the more energetic I feel. Like say, the 3 hours I got last night leads me to writing a blog post today at 6:30AM. Unfortunately, having energy does not equate into being graceful. (See above) In fact, I dare say that the combination of clumsy and hyper could be quite a dangerous one--particularly for those within a 3 foot radius. You've been warned. Again.

Monday, October 03, 2011


I raged. I cried. I cursed. I hugged. I sweat. I bled. I laughed. I huffed. I puffed. I slept. I woke. I ate. I drank. I chewed. I shivered. I stretched. I dreamed. I remembered. I wanted. I yearned. I refused. I hid. I danced. I sang.

But most importantly: I lived. Another day. Still I remain when so many do not. Fair? Hardly. Void of rhyme or reason. I can spend hours twisting the whys, hows, and whens around in my head continually  fighting against the impending panic and hyperventilation.  Or I can feel it. Accept it. And let each breath come as it may--for however many breaths I have left.

Sunday, October 02, 2011

She rants, she raves

I am growing a bit weary
of being told to do things--
long, pointless, paperwork things--

simply to cover my butt. Or your butt.
Or our butts.

Here's an idea:
Keep your butt clean
I'll do the same
And then we won't
need to fear
it being uncovered
quite so much.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

Boots Half Full

So the day was cold and rainy--who cares? It gave us an excuse to wear our galoshes. Mine are by far the cutest, dontcha think?

The Fest has been Bucked

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Color your sky grey or make it blue.
An equal amount of paint either way.
The return on investment though?
Not equal at all.

4 eyes are still probably not enough

  So, my eye exam revealed that I have an astigmatism which makes driving at night difficult. Unfortunately, this in no way explains the difficulties I have with driving during the day.

Do I look any smarter? web tracking

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Say ahhhh

People always say it's better to be busy than not. Why? Less boredom. Time moves quicker. Well, I am busy now. So busy that stress is a constant companion and I don't have time anymore to do a lot of the things that I love. Which sucks. But they're right, I don't have many spare moments for boredom to creep in and time does in fact seem to move quicker.

But. Why would I want that? Why do I want the finite number of days that I have on this earth to speed by me in a blur of to do lists? According to an online test, (read: highly accurate) my life expectancy is 92. I am 33. That means that I have around 21,500 days left to be here. Seems like a lot.

But. About 8000 of those will be during my geriatric years, which will more than likely pass by in a fog of doctors' offices, Hoverounds and Super Polident. So that leaves me with about 13,500 strong, fit days to live. I've already been here for a little over 12,000. So I'm about halfway through my able bodied existence. Why would I want to speed up the already swiftly moving snowball that is rolling down the other side of the hill toward old age town? I don't. So rather than burying myself in busyness for the sake of making life less dull, I'd rather find a way to fill my days with adventures that make me wish that time could slow down for those remaining 324,000 hours. Well, except for the ones spent in the dentist's chair. Those can continue to fly right on by.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


I named my car Rhonda--as in "Help Me!" which is what I frequently cry while driving. Truly, I never should have been given a license.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

9 August 2011

Two Thoughts Tuesday: Now That's a Thriller

1) I violated one of my personal rules last week. You see, I have this very, very strong dislike for how early stores stock decorative items for the holidays. It makes me feel rushed. I really don't want to be thinking about Halloween in hot, sweltering August. So I refuse to look at any of the displays until we're actually in the holiday month. But, then when that time finally arrives, all of the good stuff is gone. Which is why I broke that rule and bought this:

I mean what mere mortal could resist the cuteness of that thriller?

2) Hmmm... 

So, let me get this straight. You enter as a Woman and exit as a Man? Now that is an entirely different thrill right there.

Monday, August 01, 2011

Last lake trip of the summer?

Say it isn't so. But I think it might have been. Bummer.

Please enjoy these snapshots while I go bemoan the whole 'being a grown up and going to work' thing.