So many toys. So many unhappy people.

I did it. I can't believe it. But I did. I survived Toys R Us on a Sunday in December. It was touch and go there for a bit, but I made it. I did have Emily as a wing man (wing woman?) but I am the one who steered the cart the majority of the time and that's where all the real danger lies. She was more of a navigator really. She's the Michael Collins to my Neil Armstrong. Who? Exactly.

TRU Check out dude: Do you have your Rewards Card with you?

Me: No, but I do have a Groupon.

TRU COD: Is there a phone number tied to it?

Me: My groupon? No, an email address? Wait. You mean the Rewards Card. No I don't have one at all.

Different TRU COD: Oh, so no rainbow in your wallet then.

Me: Um no. No rainbow. Two circles though. Master & Card.

Both TRU CODS: (blank stare)

Me: Nevermind.

TRU COD: You must have a Rewards Card. They only give Groupons to people who have a Rewards Card.

Me: Hmmm. Nope. Still no rainbow in there.


At this point I begin to feel the loss of not having a rainbow in my wallet. What kind of wonders would the rainbow bring? Aisles that magically cleared? The toy I want found marked down 85%? A check out line that opened just for me? Valet service? I must get that card! Take me to it Mikey!

29 July 2011

28 July 2011

19 July 2011

9 July 2011

Two Thoughts Tuesday: On Oblivions

1) Last week's Tuesday post mentioned in passing my trip to Charleston, and I had a couple of people corner me and say "Charleston, wha?" Yea, I went to Charleston. Back in February. I spent that month pretty much in a state of oblivion. Which you probably guessed from the measly five posts that month. Actually though, those 28 days did see me doing a number of really neat things. Like take a kid-free mini-vacay to Charleston, SC. Here are a few of my favorite photos from that trip.

So pretty. In February. Not fair. 

He loved me! Probably because I'm made of pure sugar. 

I wouldn't mind bills so much if I got to pluck them from this box. 

Cru Cafe Tomato Basil Soup. Yes. Trust me. 

I loved these gnarly branches. I just wanted to climb up there with my book. 

I was very attracted to this display of buttons at a thrift store I wandered into. I didn't buy any though. Regret. 

Adored this guy on the bike. Don't know why, but I did. 

2. While in town, we also took a boat tour that landed us on a deserted barrier island for a couple of hours. I have since decided that I want my own private island so that I can come across treasures like this daily:

And also so I can spread my arms and run around making airplane noises without anyone seeing me and labeling me "childish" or "just plain nuts".

 

Similar reasoning behind the making peace sign shadows and then taking pictures of them. These are the kinds of things one can do on her own private island without fear of retribution. Or laughing pointing fingers.

Oh, and do you see all of those open shells there? Here this photo is better:

For some reason, all I could think of was that it looked like the morning after a sea gull frat party. Instead of a scattering of red Solo cups and smashed Budweiser cans like in the human version, there was a sea of cracked and picked clean mollusk shells dotting the beach. I imagined the engorged birds lying around somewhere over on the other side of the island belching and rubbing their swollen bellies. They better not get too comfortable though, because when I assume ownership of this island these nights of debauchery will be no more. Not on my island buddy. Birdy. You know who I mean.

Two Thoughts Tuesday: Love You, Love You Not

1) Love You

I think I will be requiring an intervention. I need all my true friends, the ones who really care about me, to band together and convince me that I can not wear these earrings every single day.

 It won't be easy though, I mean do you see how cute they are on? 

I feel like Pocahontas. Which for some reason makes me want to channel Vanessa Williams and just start belting out Save the Best for Last even though I know that the song she did for that movie was something about wind and colors. Save the Best for Last is just catchier, yes? Sometimes the sun goes round the moon...except it doesn't. Like ever. Right?

Anyway, I really did--save the best for last I mean. Because those super sweet earrings came from my most favorite of all retail outlets: Target. Yep. And not just that pair, but two more (red and taupey/cream) for the bargain price of $7.99.  Best. Last. Saved. Totally.

2)  Love You Not

So in January, I saw these sandals online and immediately put them in my shopping cart because they are a) super cute and b)t-strap thongs which happens to be the most comfortable style for people with Sasquatch feet.

The problem is that they stink.

Like really bad.  Some kind of chemical smell--I guess from the plastic? I don't know. I had packed them for our trip to Charleston, and really needed to wear them as my shoe options were limited, so I can't return them since they got all beaten up on those crumbly sidewalks. I keep hoping the smell will eventually fade or something, but so far no luck. So do y'all have any suggestions for deodorizing my pretty little flowery flipper floppers? Kitty litter? Lysol? Melt them down and start over? Anything?

Here a Foo, There a Foo, Everywhere a Foo Foo

Hi. Remember me? The Mellon? I haven't been hanging around here much lately. Have you been wondering just what it is that could be keeping me from clogging up the interwebs with my stream of consciousness rambling?

No?! You hadn't even noticed my absence? Oh. Well, that's a blow to the ole ego, isn't it? And here I'd put together this lovely photograph-enhanced list itemizing a few of the things that have been occupying space in my brain lately. You know what. I'm going to go ahead and share it anyway, if that's ok with you. What? I can't hear you. Lalalalalalalalala....

So here we go, in some order of importance:

1) I'm a Foo for you Dave Grohl.

Did you know that Foo Fighters released a new CD Tuesday? (They're a band Mom) And they had a documentary out, too? And Dave was on the cover of Sunday Style? It's been a veritable FooSmorgasboard. I think I've listened to Wasting Light about 30 times already. Seriously. My favorite song is Arlandria. Or Bridge Burning. Or I Should Have Known. Or maybe Dear Rosemary. No, These Days. Back & Forth? Oh they're all good--well except White Limo--which I do like right up until the screaming starts. The screeching gives me flashbacks to the latest battle waged in the Amaya/Chase wars, so I can't stand to listen to it for long. Maybe when more time has passed and the wounds aren't as fresh...


2) Reading. I love going to the bookstore--it's like Disneyland to me. Only better because you don't have to wait in line for 20 minutes to get to the good stuff.

Yes, I have a Kindle and an iPad. And sure, nothing beats the convenience of clicking a few buttons and finding the book you want to read on the screen in front of you a minute later. But, I'd never give up my trips to the bookstore. I love to wander the aisles picking up anything that strikes my fancy. And, there's just something about holding an actual book-the feel of the pages in your hand, the smell of the ink. Love.

Right now, I am reading This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness by Laura Munson

which caught my eye both because the author's name is Laura and I have a thing for Lauras and because I liked the giant horseshoe on the cover.  So far, I've laughed, cried, nodded and had several ah-ha moments. Which is the very definition of a good book in my opinion.

3) Cooking--AKA You Win Some...

Buffalo Chicken Pizza

You Lose Some.

Broiled Salmon or as I like to call it: My broiler hates me and there is nothing more disgusting than the smell of burning fish skin. I mean fish in general is nasty, nasty stuff. Burnt fish? Barf Barf Barf.

4) Heaven. Or the writing utensils I'd imagine they have there anyway. 

5) Spring! And pretty spring skirts. 

6) Spring cleaning my closet to make room for all of those pretty new spring clothes. 

 7 Bags to Purple Heart. How on earth did I ever accumulate enough articles of clothing that I can fill 7 bags and still have a closet jam packed? I think I should probably go try to fill 7 more before PH comes tomorrow. But I get so attached to my clothes. Like they're my babies. I just can't send my babies off to some strange home. No, instead they must stay buried in my closet where most of them will never see the light of day. I have issues. I know.

7) Return of my Cherry Cola Highlights. I just adore that the dye color name is Cherry Cola. Makes me smile because it reminds me of one of my favorite song lyrics: Seeking cherry cola as the bridging wine from Melissa Auf der Mar's Lightning is my Girl.

 

Totally worth those 3.5 hours lost to the Time Sucking Vortex, yes?

Disclaimer: I have no connection to any of the products featured in today's post. No one cares enough what I think to approach me about writing a review. Everything mentioned here was purchased by my own personal volition with my own AmEx. I will in no way benefit from anyone going out and also purchasing said items other than earning the right to say "I told you so."

WTFriday

My mother and I love to go thrifting in search of treasures. It's mainly the hunt of it that thrills me most.  You just never know what you're going to come across when you're inside a thrift store. Which is why when I saw three shiny, red boxes on the shelf last weekend, I knew I had to get a closer look. I mean who wouldn't be curious as to what a Marie Osmond Fine Collectible entails.

Of all of the possibilities that ran through my head prior to opening the box--and believe me I had some strange ideas--none of them came anywhere near the horror that actually awaited me.

Perhaps a bit closer of a look?

Dude. And I thought Hedda was creepy.  Marie Osmond has some 'splainin' to do.

On the 26th day of December we...

Went shopping...I just loved these galoshes.

So happy and springy. But I didn't think I'd have anything to wear them with, so they didn't make it into this pile o'purchases.

And then in my true paradoxical nature, I went from obscene consumerism to watching The Corporation.

After 2.5 hours of seriousness, we had to lighten things up a bit.

And then put on our dancing shoes...

 

So we could properly chase UFOs.

And that, my friends, requires a whole different documentary.

December Daily: The First

In the scrapping world, there's a tradition of making a little mini-album for the month of December. This little book would have a space to place a picture and a little note about each day in the month. These December Dailies are typically beautiful works of art with lots of intricate detail and hand-crafted embellishments. I've always wanted to make one, but I forget all about that inclination until--well--today the first day of December. So rather than stress myself out trying to make an entire album in a day, I've decided to do a test run on the blog to see how much I can really think of to say about the 31 days in the 12th month of the year. Sounds fun, no?

The first day of December 2010 started out rather horridly actually. Before 8 am, I had broken the bathtub, stabbed myself with scissors and shattered my razor. Yes, I said shattered.

 

Then I went to the gym where I very nearly fell flat on my arse due to the equilibrium issues that go hand in hand with my cold. Plus, the exertion of jump kicking and decoy switching zapped any energy that I might have had, so I headed straight home for my comfy chair and blanket. While sitting there, I happened to notice that my Christmas tree was leaning to the right by about six inches.  For a second or two, I thought it might be me who was doing the leaning, but I eventually determined that no, it was in fact the tree.

                                    

I thought it would be good to try to straighten it before I piled ornaments and ribbon on it. Makes sense right? Well, tell that to the two fingers of my glove that I decapitated in the process:

And I thought I was being so smart wearing gloves to protect my hands from getting all scratched up. Obviously not. Factor in the cold, windy rain of the morning, and I was about ready to write this day completely off. But then the mail came and with it a check from the Virginia lottery! I won the lottery y'all!

 What?!? $30 is too winning the lottery! Grinch! 

Well alright then, even you with your heart two sizes too small will be able to see how finding this little jewel at Starbucks today would make me turn my frown upside down. Love, love, love!

Now I just need 30 or so more so that I can dedicate an entire tree to my love of all things caffeinated and over-priced. 

Finally, we celebrated the first night of Hanukkah with...Birthday Candles! Again. I swear, swear that I bought some real Hanukkah candles last year. They have to be packed away in one of the 20 holiday tubs in the basement. See, this is what happens when you go and move the holiday around on me like this. Also, my camera doesn't seem to want to take a focused picture. Why? I mean it's the expensive one for goodness sake--my iPhone takes better photos. 

Presents! Unfocused, yes. But still...presents!

 

So there you have it. December 1, 2010. Anyone want to take bets on how many days I miss and/or combine into one post during this little project?  Winner gets a Starbucks ornament.

Because Gran Wondered What Happened to Pretty Mellon

Gran was not what you could call thrilled by my last post. She wants to see pretty photos of me, and you all know how much I like to please. So, here you go Gran:

Pair a plaid shirt with a blinged out tank underneath then throw on a grandpa cardi, skinny jeans, and boots and you've pretty much got my fall uniform. Easy, comfortable and it just screams "Welcome Crisp Weather!" right?

The key is to throw in enough girly pieces to make sure no one actually confuses you with her Grandpa. Observe:

Why yes, that is a disco ball around my neck. Doesn't get much blingier than that, now does it? Am I pretty now, Gran?