Thursday, April 28, 2011

A whatster?

Amaya: I have a monster on my lip.

Mama: A what?

Amaya: A monster.

Mama: Show me.
Mama: A blister? You have a blister on your lip?

Amaya: Yes. A monster. On my lip.

Mama: Got it.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Wherefore Art Thou Pixie Dust?

If I were a magical Disney fairy who could grant everyone a single special offering, I would give the gift of a true friend. Someone who loves you and supports you through every choice you make, wrong or right. Someone like my Manders:

We've been BFFs since the day she was born. She wasn't really given a choice in the matter actually. But I hope she's ok with that. She is my rock. My therapist. My co-conspirator. My escape. My grounding. My return to the person I was. My launch pad into the person I will be. She's seen me at my best and at my worst. And she's been there cheering me on for 32 years now. No really, she has. See:

I just wish we lived closer so we could have more Mamas Gone Wild nights. I mean who else would indulge my narcissistic need to have my photo taken every time I get my hair done?

Or think there is nothing wrong with buying something just because you think the bottle is the most adorable thing Ev-vah?

I don't even want to drink it. I just want to look at it. And she understands this. Thinks it's normal even. 

Yes, I do believe everyone needs someone in her life who not only understands her crazy but embraces it.  Now, if I could just find my bucket of pixie dust...

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Two Thoughts Tuesday: On Oblivions

1) Last week's Tuesday post mentioned in passing my trip to Charleston, and I had a couple of people corner me and say "Charleston, wha?" Yea, I went to Charleston. Back in February. I spent that month pretty much in a state of oblivion. Which you probably guessed from the measly five posts that month. Actually though, those 28 days did see me doing a number of really neat things. Like take a kid-free mini-vacay to Charleston, SC. Here are a few of my favorite photos from that trip.

So pretty. In February. Not fair. 

He loved me! Probably because I'm made of pure sugar. 

I wouldn't mind bills so much if I got to pluck them from this box. 

Cru Cafe Tomato Basil Soup. Yes. Trust me. 

I loved these gnarly branches. I just wanted to climb up there with my book. 

I was very attracted to this display of buttons at a thrift store I wandered into. I didn't buy any though. Regret. 

Adored this guy on the bike. Don't know why, but I did. 

2. While in town, we also took a boat tour that landed us on a deserted barrier island for a couple of hours. I have since decided that I want my own private island so that I can come across treasures like this daily:

And also so I can spread my arms and run around making airplane noises without anyone seeing me and labeling me "childish" or "just plain nuts".

Similar reasoning behind the making peace sign shadows and then taking pictures of them. These are the kinds of things one can do on her own private island without fear of retribution. Or laughing pointing fingers.

Oh, and do you see all of those open shells there? Here this photo is better:

For some reason, all I could think of was that it looked like the morning after a sea gull frat party. Instead of a scattering of red Solo cups and smashed Budweiser cans like in the human version, there was a sea of cracked and picked clean mollusk shells dotting the beach. I imagined the engorged birds lying around somewhere over on the other side of the island belching and rubbing their swollen bellies. They better not get too comfortable though, because when I assume ownership of this island these nights of debauchery will be no more. Not on my island buddy. Birdy. You know who I mean.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Analyze This

Chase: Look Mama, it's a broken Cactus!

Confused? Here let this handy arrow guide your eye to the correct spot:

Totally looks like a broken cactus, right?  Rorschach needed ink. Chase needs only a splash of water and perhaps a little toothpaste smeared here & there.

Diagnosis: Time to move to Phoenix? I think I'm going to need a second opinion.

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Eastover? Passter?

It doesn't really matter what you call it I guess. The holidays mean different things to different people at different times. For instance, Passover to me will always be Matzah Brittle and something about plagues. Easter is Cadbury Creme eggs, sacrifice, and baskets full of sugar and toys.

And certainly isn't complete without a pair of giddy munchkins dancing around at far too early of an hour that morning.

But the holidays are also about time spent with family with no expectations other than maybe a good crime fight or two

 and a little time to sit around watching the world go by while reminiscing about our younger years.

And they're about the comfort found in carrying out long held traditions. And the chance to make a few new ones too. 

But I think most of all--for me anyway--holidays are a time of reflection. A time to really examine one's life and acknowledge all the blessings there in. It helps to have really big glasses for this part.

The bigger the better. That way when you realize just how much your offspring have changed in a single year, the glasses will help to hide the wistful tears before anyone can see them.



I mean it isn't like I don't want them to grow at all.  I do want them to become more independent and stop whining and fighting and bickering and saying "Mama!" 543400 times in an hour. And it will be nice when they can reach the sink in public restrooms without my having to lift them up. So yes, they are certainly allowed to grow up. Just maybe not quite so fast. Ok?

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Color Me Happy

My favorite part of dying Easter eggs is seeing all the colorful bowls lined up before the party starts and the mess ensues. I think this must in some way relate back to my 8 year old self's obsession with Rainbow Brite. An obsession which also probably explains why I like chunky belts and moon boots, but that's probably a story for another day.

Anyway, please enjoy these pictures of the children coloring eggs with Grandma at the lake.

 Yes, that's Grandpa over there steadfastly ignoring the entire process. Not a fan of arts and crafts time.  But he is more than happy to spend countless minutes looking at smiley faces with them. So I guess it all evens out. Somehow.

My second favorite part? All those colored eggs of course. Can you find mine?

Third favorite part? All those yummy egg salad sandwiches that are just on the horizon. Yum yum.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Best Easter Playdate Ever! Part Two: The ABCs of a Good Time

As promised here is part two of our Easter playdate extravaganza. For ease of consumption, I've broken the event down into three simple components. Thoughtful and sweet, am I.

A is for Arts & Crafts

Want to entertain a crowd of pint sized humans? I have two words for you: glitter glue. It's that simple. Really. 

And bonus, you'll end up with lovely pieces of art for your home. Here's an Amaya Original:

And a limited edition ChaseEraser:

B is for Buckets

  Sure, they're great for collecting things,

 but they're even better when they come pre-filled with sugar and toys.

While making these playdate favors, it occurred to me that I was quite selfish in naming my daughter Amaya--that's 3 A's for one tiny person! A's don't grow on trees you know--I specifically know this because I ran out of them. Which is why Chase's bucket had an upside down V with a Z tail for his A, and poor Vivian's bucket was simply labeled Viv. So let that be a warning to you folks--think very carefully about how vowel  greedy you want to be when naming your children. If you fail to heed this advice, it will surely come back to bite you one day when you find yourself having to label 8 Easter buckets.  Or um something.

C is for mad yo

This was some kind of seek and destroy mission involving a giant flyswatter and lots of shrieks and giggles. 

This was a snake hunt. I heard one of the girls saying: Here snakey snakey snakey! I am pretty sure it was Amaya. Which is odd, since that is the last thing her mother would ever do. Actually try to entice a snake to come closer? Insane. 

This was bumper slide with the added element of trying to pull Allie back onto the ramp.

It ended like this:
Like I said, mad chaos yo.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Ennui? Who Me?

I'm lost. I just don't know what I want to do with myself these days. Truth be told, I'm a bit bored, but at the same time I'm not sure I'm willing to take on all of the stress of going back to teaching full time either, and there just aren't a lot of part time teaching options that I can live with. So, I'm thinking that I might go back to school in pursuit of either a second Masters or perhaps a PhD. It's in the let the idea bounce around in my head and see how it feels stage right now, so I'm researching the possibilities and trying to get all of my ducks in a row on the chance that I do decide to pursue this option.  One unfortunate requirement that I've already discovered is that most schools want a GRE score from within the last 5 years. Since I took the GRE 12 years ago, that means that I am going to have to retake that sucker. Enter today's delivery from

Uggg. It's going to be a bit tougher this time around having been removed from the world of academia for so long. Preparation is the key. After doing a few practice sets of problems I have come to the following conclusions:

  •  At the risk of appearing hubristic, I have to say that I am fairly astute in the realm of verbal reasoning. This is one benefit of being a word nerd. Not to mention that I am also quite adept at guessing well. POE is not just a modern rock goddess people.  Still, there is always room for improvement. Since I look at learning new words as a game though, I don't really think that studying for this section will feel much like work to me. And bonus: this pursuit will in no way vitiate my moral fiber unless I focus too much on unvirtuous words--which I totally would not do. Vitiate is my new word of the day, by the way. I'm so going to own this. 
  •  My math? Meh. I used to be such a math brain too, but as they say--if you don't use it, you lose it. My life today has very little use for most algebraic functions and practically zero use for geometry theorems. While most of the problems I could reason my way through and figure out long hand, I just don't really have the patience for it. Or the desire. Plus the test is timed. Hence the purchase of the above book. I figure if I devote a month or two to brushing up on all of those formulas and rules and whatnot, I'll be good to go. That is my hope anyway. And if not, well I guess I'll just have to fall back on that guessing adeptness again. C. Always C.
  •  It appears that the word ennui is not only a favorite among poets and songwriters, but also the ETS question scribes. I'd put further thought into the reasons for this (easy to rhyme? everything sounds better in French?) but frankly, between the start of this bullet and now, I've completely lost interest. As I imagine you have too.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Forget the Kardashians, Try Keeping Up With This Kid.

Chase is quite the studious little fellow--here he is hard at work at his keyboarding homework. I don't know where he gets such good habits as I was never one to do much studying beyond the absolute bare minimum required to appease the education gods.  Of course, I think I probably would have been more willing to do my homework as a kid if it had involved playing games on the computer. 

Did you notice the marker on his ear? Makes me smile.

I will leave you today with this little snippet of a conversation we had on the way to that music lesson he studied so hard for.

Chase: Mama, who sings this song?

Mama: Radiohead.

Chase: What would happen if you take off my head?

Mama: You'd die.

Chase: But Lego Batman loses his head all the time, and he is still alive.

Mama: That's a Lego. You're a human. Humans need heads to live.

Chase: Oh. What's this song called?

Mama: Optimistic.

Chase: It sounds sad. It's a sad song.

Mama: Ironic, isn't it?

Chase: You mean Rock 'n Roll?

Mama: That too.

Chase: I love Rock 'n Roll lalalalalala jukebox baby! Can we hear that song now Mama?

Mama: Keep your head on kid.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Two Thoughts Tuesday: Love You, Love You Not

1) Love You

I think I will be requiring an intervention. I need all my true friends, the ones who really care about me, to band together and convince me that I can not wear these earrings every single day.

 It won't be easy though, I mean do you see how cute they are on? 

I feel like Pocahontas. Which for some reason makes me want to channel Vanessa Williams and just start belting out Save the Best for Last even though I know that the song she did for that movie was something about wind and colors. Save the Best for Last is just catchier, yes? Sometimes the sun goes round the moon...except it doesn't. Like ever. Right?

Anyway, I really did--save the best for last I mean. Because those super sweet earrings came from my most favorite of all retail outlets: Target. Yep. And not just that pair, but two more (red and taupey/cream) for the bargain price of $7.99.  Best. Last. Saved. Totally.

2)  Love You Not

So in January, I saw these sandals online and immediately put them in my shopping cart because they are a) super cute and b)t-strap thongs which happens to be the most comfortable style for people with Sasquatch feet.

The problem is that they stink.

Like really bad.  Some kind of chemical smell--I guess from the plastic? I don't know. I had packed them for our trip to Charleston, and really needed to wear them as my shoe options were limited, so I can't return them since they got all beaten up on those crumbly sidewalks. I keep hoping the smell will eventually fade or something, but so far no luck. So do y'all have any suggestions for deodorizing my pretty little flowery flipper floppers? Kitty litter? Lysol? Melt them down and start over? Anything?