Friday, November 05, 2010

I practically gift wrapped it for you

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but it's officially holiday shopping season people. And you know what that means right?

You're about to find yourself surrounded by enough freaking Styrofoam peanuts and packing tape to wrap around the equator 3 times and still have enough to encase your children in a 2 foot thick bubble of manufactured cushioning. I can't think of anything that I hate more than having to unpack my purchase from this tomb of containment. Hate it. Despise. Detest. Abhor. Yes, all of those.

Which brings me to my first Mellon's Holiday Tip: Do the annoying work for your gift recipients. Unless you're afraid that the person will think that you're giving them a regift or something you've just had lying around the house: Be Kind, Unwind--the object from all of this excessive packing. I know I would thank you profusely if my exposure to that white, crumbly stuff was decreased.  Assembling the gift will give you even more bonus points. However, since this is a very time consuming, labor intensive, bad-word spewing endeavor for me, I save it for only those on my list who have been uber-nice without even a touch of naughty.  So far, there's only one person who meets that Better luck next year folks.

Now that you've decided to spare your giftee the pain of dealing with the packaging nightmare attached to their gift, let's see how we can minimize your frustration, too.  Just because we're generous, it doesn't mean we have to be tortured any more than necessary. Your good karma still counts, trust me.

So we have Mellon's Holiday Tips #2: Try to keep as much of that miserable material in the box as possible.   Don't, I repeat do not, pull out the entire mess on to the floor unless you want your room to look like an overturned snow globe. Snip as much of the tape and other adhesivey nonsense off as you can while everything is still in the box. Try to free as much of the item from its clutches as you can. And that's where you'll need Mellon's Holiday Tip #3: Keep your scissors within easy reach. This as you are no doubt aware can prove difficult when parts, packing and pieces start flying everywhere. Luckily for you, I am here to offer a solution. First, cut a slit in the top flap or sturdy side of the box like so.

It will look like this:

Then open your scissors and wedge them into the slit so that the blade joint is resting against the end of the slit like so:

If your scissors aren't spring loaded like these, apply a little pressure so that the blades start to cut into the cardboard, but not enough to actually do so. And now you have scissors ready to grab as you need them. That they're handle side up to avoid any unintentional slicing of one's skin is just the bow on the box. Merry Christmas.

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