A Laundry PSA

It is not advisable to include in your wash an entire roll of toilet paper.  Doing so will certainly not make your clothes come out Angel Soft--trust me. 

 

And you'll probably be picking up bits of toilet paper for the next 6 to 7 weeks. 

File Under: Another reason I need a cage for the kids.

17 June 2011

16 June 2011

Got Milk?

Chase: Mama, are they drinking regular milk or chocolate milk?

15 June 2011

This girl

You can just make out the tip of the pink cap of her chapstick tucked into her bathing 'soup' there.

will surely be the death of me. My end might come when she does something like channel Claire from the Breakfast Club by sticking her chapstick in her bathing suit top for safe keeping, thus making me laugh so hard I can't breathe. At least I'd be smiling when rigor mortis sets in.

However, I am more inclined to believe that child will just give me your run of the mill heart attack from her daredevil ways.  I nearly met my doom this very day when I took the children to Swallow Falls to run around and burn off some energy. Amaya is no slouch in the run around department:

She looks way older than almost 3 in this picture. 

But she soon tires of tedious things like keeping both feet firmly on the ground. So little Miss decided to hurl herself off of the swing when it was at its highest point like she's a fifth grade boy instead of a tiny tot. That left a mark.

Pretty long scratch. I think it's from the S hook on the swing. 

One would think after taking such a spill, that a being might be just a bit more cautious. You know at least for an hour or so. But nope not my daughter. Not more than 10 minutes later she was here:

and then she put her feet on to the next bar--at which point I ran over and got ready to catch her should she fall. Despite her protests of "Don't touch me Mama!", I kept two hands wrapped around her as she went for the top bar. No fear. Then it was time to get down. Which she can do by herself thankyouverymuch.

Oh yea, she's got that completely under control. Death from concurrent laughing induced suffocation and heart attack? I guess there are worse ways to go.

14 June 2011

13 June 2011

Recognize & Appreciate Your Mother's Wisdom Child

Picture has absolutely nothing to do with the post. Sorry.

This morning, I grabbed a Nerf football and invited the children out into the yard to pass it back and forth with me. Let's just say my son was not exactly jumping up and down at the opportunity.

Chase: I don't know how to throw a football.

Mama: Well, the only way to learn is to try.

Chase: I can't do it. It's too hard. No thank you.

Mama: Lots of things are hard until we learn how to do them. All we can do is try our best Chase. That's the only way to learn. And if you keep trying and working at it, eventually your best starts getting better and better.

Chase: That doesn't make sense. I'll just watch.

Mama: Sure kid, sure.

11 June 2011

There's a bigger lesson here, I just know it

As some of you may have gathered, I am having myself a relaxing vacation at the lake. Well, as relaxing as having the sole responsibility for the livelihood of two hyperactive tots around a large body of water and freely roaming bears can be. The point here is that I haven't felt inclined to do a whole lot in the realm of hair styling--and by a whole lot, I mean anything at all really.  I wash and go. No hair dryers. No flat irons. No counter full of styling products I don't really know how to use. Basically, I throw it up into a bun with my spin pins until they start giving me a headache, and then I take it down and just let it go where it wants. Which looks like this:

Wavy, slightly frizzy, boingy hair. Quite a departure from the look I usually strive for:

Sleek, shiny, flat. Of course it only looks that good when Akram does it for me, but that doesn't stop me from twisting, burning and tugging at it in an attempt to make my abused tresses at least somewhat resemble the above picture in a less attractive, distant relative kind of way.  And I am beginning to wonder why I go to so much trouble. Sure it looks pretty, but I'm still me with or without perfect hair. And honestly, I feel freer with my crazy, out of control hair. More natural. More real. Not just a poor imitation--more me.  

10 June 2011

9 June 2011

You Don't Have to be Sherlock

If the puffy eyes and cranky demeanor aren't enough to clue you in to the fact that I didn't get the best night's sleep,  the crazy Elvira hair should leave no doubt.

That's going to take awhile to untangle. I am going to need a few cups of coffee first I think.

8 June 2011

It seems to me that when I was a kid, the 8th of June was always the last day of school. I can still remember the feeling of freedom that coursed through my body as I took that final step off of the bus each June. Nothing in front of me but lazy days spent by the pool, softball games and joy rides through the country.  And lemonade. Lots of lemonade.

Since today is, in my mind, officially the first day of Summer Vacation, I am starting a new project. I plan to choose one photo each day to document my season of fun & sun. My hope is to get them all up here on the blog the day they're taken, but well y'all remember how that December Daily thing went, right? So we'll see how it goes. No promises.

Justice Schmustice

Does this look like the face of a future criminal mastermind?

Yea, I didn't think so either. That is until yesterday when it was time to get the little villain dressed. You see, the kids' school has pseudo-uniforms in that they have to wear a t-shirt with the name of the school imprinted on it. Usually Chase doesn't mind wearing this shirt. But Tuesdays are different because he goes straight from school to his keyboarding class.   Once upon a time, a kid in that class laughed at his school shirt, so now Chase must always change into a regular shirt before class. We pick that shirt out while he gets dressed that morning and put it in his backpack.

Well yesterday, it just so happened that there was a new, super exciting shirt in his drawer that he didn't want to wait until music to wear--he wanted to wear it RIGHT NOW! When he finally realized that Mama wasn't going to give in, he sat down, looked at the shirt, looked at me, looked at the shirt and then said:

"What happens if I spill something on my school shirt today?"

His little mind was calculating a devious plot to intentionally soil his school shirt so he'd have to change into his cool new shirt.  So we had a little talk about honesty and making good choices. And guess what: I think it worked. You see the kids are going to school for a bit today while I pack us up for the lake. Chase doesn't want to wear the school shirt to the lake, so we picked out a regular one for him to change into later. This time he looked at the shirt, he looked at me, he looked at the shirt and then he said:

"I am wearing a school shirt because it's Wednesday and I won't spill anything on it."

Still, we can't put our guards down yet. Child has clearly shown that he holds the potential to veer to the dark side.

Two Thoughts Tuesday: On Living

1) I am hard-pressed to think of anything that I love more than welcoming a new wee one into this world. The soft little baby cheeks, the way her mouth moves and curls, the gentle breath...oh can I keep her pretty, pretty please??

 

Amaya is all ready to be the big sister as she's been practicing on bear for quite some time now. See:

Now who's going to be the one to tell her that Mama's sanity really can't survive another child in this house? Anyone??

2) Chase: Breathing is important so you can exercise.

Mama: Well yes. But you also have to breath to live.

Chase: So if you don't breath, you'll die?

Mama: Right.

Chase: I always want to breath. I never want to not breath.

Mama: Well that's good. I kinda like having you around.

What Dreams May Come

Does anyone remember that movie with Robin Williams? Me? Not really. Something about heaven and hell and lots of vivid colors. I think it was quite depressing actually, perhaps that's why my brain chose to not hang on too tightly to the details. But the title has always stuck with me because I find that combination of words to be at once both exhilarating and soothing. A contradiction of sorts. Kind of like myself.

 Exhilarating because we don't know what dreams await us in this life. Where our hearts will lead us. What wonders are out there waiting for us to behold. How far our minds and bodies can take us. And we must try not to hesitate too long when it comes time to chase those desires, to ride those waves, to feel the burn of the fire that fuels them. It's scary--admitting that you want something and putting yourself out there. The possibility of pain is not only real, but is pretty much guaranteed. We will falter. We will fail. Our hearts will take a beating. Our pride will be wounded. Dreams will die.

It seems much easier then to just sit back and let life happen to us rather than us happening to life, doesn't it? Less chance of injury that way. But, me? Well, I believe I will take those scars. Gladly. For what is the alternative? To never really live? To be forever preserved--unmarred in a ball of blah?

And that's where the soothing part comes. Because though we may need to retreat at times in order to lick our wounds, our bodies and souls will already have begun to heal. With time, the pain will ease and in its place will be the gratification of a life lived. No regrets. No what ifs.  Ready to chase with abandon whatever dreams await us next.

No Plans Yet This Friday Night?

Perhaps I can be of service. Allow me to provide for you both dinner and a concert. Let's start with the food as y'all know how much I love to eat. Cooking? Eh, not as much. Which is why I love this super simple, super scrumptious dish.

Baked Ham & Swiss Roll-Ups

I can't remember which magazine I stole the recipe from which makes me feel really rotten for not giving credit where credit is due. So rotten, that I promise to start writing down the source for all of my future favorite recipes when I make my little cards.

 Anyway, here is the recipe:

Baked Ham & Swiss Roll-Ups

Total time: 40 min

Serves: 4

1lb. pizza dough

1 tb. deli mustard

1/2 lb deli ham (thin sliced)

1/4 lb swiss cheese

1/2 small onion cut into rings

1. Preheat oven to 400°F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
2. Roll the pizza dough into a large circle and spread with the mustard. Cut the pizza dough into 8 triangles.
3. Divide the ham, cheese and onion among the triangles. Starting at the wide end, roll the dough around the filling. (some filling will stick out)
4. Transfer the rolls to the prepared baking sheet and bake until golden brown 20-25 minutes. Serve with salad if desired.  

That's it. 4 little steps. Even the most inept chef can handle 4 little steps--trust me I know. And the best part is you can make the roll-ups up to a day ahead and pop them unbaked in the refrigerator. Which makes this the perfect recipe for parties or Friday nights when you'd rather spend more time prepping yourself than dinner. Or as Amaya says: Puttin' on your makeups.

Speaking of Lil' Miss--here she is in that concert I promised you. Anyone with any musical taste at all will be able to tell she's headed for big things. Her record label probably won't let her keep giving free concerts for much longer,  so enjoy it while you can. 

Spinning Gold into Straw

 With what frequency are the things we believe to be true compatible with the actual truth?

Isn't it weird how ideas seem to come at you in bundles? How your brain can be chugging away at a nugget of information so much that you are now able to connect it to so many other thoughts and images? Maybe it's kind of like when you get a new car---suddenly everywhere you look you see that same car even though you'd swear that no one had that model before you did. But you were wrong. They were out there. You just didn't see them, but now your eyes are open and searching. And so, like magic those copycat cars appear.

So anyway, yes the above tweet wormed its way into my head last week at girls' night when my friend Eva--who is from China--was telling me about a book her dad was reading called The Man on Mao's Right: From Harvard Yard to Tiananmen Square, My Life Inside China's Foreign Ministry.  Ms. Eva was livid about many of the details laid out in the book because as a young Chinese student, she'd heard an entirely different story growing up. And not just that some facts had been stretched or distorted, but that outright lies had been told or complete events wiped from the history books. Apparently, she and her Canadian husband got into a big debate over her belief that the Korean War was only about those cowboy Americans picking on China's friend Korea and his version of a United Nations supported proxy war. The internet is a great tool in such instances, isn't it?

And I know what you're thinking now--well that's China for you. But it happens everywhere. Every country spins the truth to its own favor. Nationalism. Somehow that translates into rarely admitting mistakes or missteps and always having to be the good guy--even when you're not.  

And it isn't just the government, it's corporations and industry that twist and mangle the truth to their advantage. For instance, shortly after that dinner with Eva, I read an article in Rolling Stone titled: The People vs. Goldman Sachs in which author Matt Taibbi lays out his argument for why the Justice Department should bring criminal charges against Goldman. I know it's a long article, but it really is worth the read--or skip to page 3 which highlights some particularly disturbing evidence. Essentially, Taibbi outlines how the bank dumped its soon to falter mortgage-related securities on trusting clients assuring them that it was a wise and sound investment while simultaneously betting $10 billion against them. This quote sums it up nicely I think:

Goldman was like a car dealership that realized it had a whole lot full of cars with faulty brakes. Instead of announcing a recall, it surged ahead with a two-fold plan to make a fortune: first, by dumping the dangerous products on other people, and second, by taking out life insurance against the fools who bought the deadly cars.  

And the spinning can be done closer to home too--our own families can build fantasy lands around the truth.   Just last night, I sat down with my Marie Claire magazine looking for a little mindless escape, but instead I found this article called Will Money Destroy Your Marriage?: Secret bank accounts, hidden documents, foreclosure notices--women across the country are uncovering shocking signs of financial infidelity which told in true tabloid fashion the stories of women who thought they were living one life only to wake up to find themselves in an entirely different one when the truth of their husbands' actions came out. And while these stories are sensationalized, there remains the fact that family members regularly tell untruths over things as small as taking out the trash and as large as having an entirely different identity.

But it doesn't stop there either--our own brains lie to us. The following quote came from the article: The Problem with Eyewitness Testimony a talk by Barbara Tversky, Professor of Psychology and George Fisher, Professor of Law by Laura Englehardt:

Memory is affected by retelling, and we rarely tell a story in a neutral fashion. By tailoring our stories to our listeners, our bias distorts the very formation of memory—even without the introduction of misinformation by a third party.

Which means that we spin the truth inside our own minds, too. So how are we to ever be sure that what we believe to be true is the actual truth and not some contorted version there of?  I don't know, but I do think it starts with questioning. Others. Ourselves. Being willing to look at the possibility that what we've always known to be true was, in fact, never true at all.