Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Secret Agent Sloth

Amaya had her first day of school last Friday. As you can see from the picture, the girl was ready to go. Unlike her more reserved brother, Amaya dove head first into the classroom and never looked back. Not a single tear was shed. This might have something to do with the fact that she is the only girl in a class of eight boys. She finally has assumed her throne as the Queen Bee. I'm sure it won't be too long before she's convinced all of those unfortunate boys that it is the ultimate honor to become her worker drones whose only purpose is to do her bidding. Poor schmucks.

So, the little Petunia being at school with her brother means that I now have three days of rest, relaxation and all around sloth each week. I'm blessed, I know this. But also, so are my kids. No really. Here's why: not only do they get peer interaction and enrichment at school, but on their days off they get a well-rested Mama. This is important because a well-rested Mama is more willing to engage in entertaining activities with her offspring.

A well-rested Mama is able to put snacks in cute little containers instead of just handing the children ugly bags from the pantry. This serves two purposes: 1) It tricks Chase into thinking he got the entire bag of 100 calorie ABC cookies when in fact he shared it with his sister. 2) Placing raisins beside said cookies makes them look like a dessert, too. Which, yes, I know they pretty much are a dessert as far as sugar content goes, but they are but a stepping stone my friends. Once I get the unsuspecting munchkins used to eating the raisins, I plan to switch out the fruit for first carrots, then broccoli and finally spinach. Diabolical, no? See, only a well-rested Mama could have come up with such a convoluted mission.

A well-rested Mama has the energy and patience to do such things as dress her son up as a Chicken at 9 o'clock in the morning. Cluck! Cluck!

Finally, only a well-rested Mama can plan and implement an art project that uses glitter. Frankly, I believe that there are a limited number of Mamas who would go this far no matter how rested they were. Glitter is dangerous. I have a couple of secret weapons though. The first being: The Smock.

But this isn't just any old art project. Oh no, not when there is a well-rested Mama on the case. This one has multiple objectives. First, letter recognition. Second, fine motor skills.

Third, identifying the difference between food and non food. Glue is the the latter by the way.

Fourth, beginning word sounds. (Spider starts with S. Get it?) Fifth, arachnid anatomy. Spiders have 8 legs, not 1, 13 or 43. Eight. We spent some time on this concept.

And finally, traditional holiday symbols. Halloween=spooky spider. That's a lot for one 10 minute art project wouldn't you agree? Before you become too awed by my abilities, I totally swiped the idea from a really cool kids' craft blog: http://www.notimeforflashcards.com/ Being able to devote the proper amount of time to espionage is yet another benefit of being a well-rested Mama.

See, Amaya's already catching on to the food/non food concept. Yep, SugarBean, a tomato is food. But let's not eat that one either. Also please note my other secret weapon against the glitter attack: an old cookie sheet. Sometimes it's the simplest ideas, ya know?

And here we have the finished product. Spooky how advanced their penmanship skills are, isn't it?

Of course, after all of that, Mama isn't quite so well-rested anymore. Good thing tomorrow's a school day.


  1. Mandy3:18 PM

    Perfect plan. Muuuaaaaah!!!!!!!!!! Seriously--can you come narrate my life? I can't say it enough, I love your writing!!!!

    And, holy smokes, those are some spooky advanced writing skills.

    Way to go, well-rested mama.

  2. Yvonne7:38 PM


  3. Anonymous12:00 PM

    Joshua has the same halloween shirt as Chase...

    Good idea Laura and thanks for posting the blog. One of these days, I'll get around to such activities. You are my inspiration.

    Glad you are getting some rest!!


  4. You have beautiful kids.

    Cool spiders too! I like the paper kinds much more than the real kinds.