Just a glimpse

Today, I'm providing you gentle reader with a small peek into the life of the Mellon. As I'm sure you're aware, we've been working with Chase on potty training and reveling in all of the fun that that involves. He wears big boy underwear now everyday, and thankfully we've gone from changing his pants 12 times to changing his pants 3 or 4 times per day. Big improvement. Less laundry equals happier Mama--not happy mind you, but happier. Part of this process involves proper toilet paper use. Monkey likes to get a big ball of it and then just toss it right into the bowl without wiping anything. I've been working hard trying to remedy this particular habit the child has developed. Observe:

Mama: Just a small piece Chase.
Chase: No a BIG one! (as he pulls a fist sized wad off of the roll)
Mama: (hurrying before he throws it into the toilet unused) OK Chase wipe yourself with it.
Chase: Ok

And the kid does, he actually does. This would be the end of a triumphant story if it were the life of anyone else. But, it isn't. No, it's my life. So what do think happened next?

Chase: My arm is dirty. I'm going to wipe it.

And he does, with the same tissue he just used in his nether regions. Which is gross, but manageable. This is where the story might stop if I were a more together mom who had been just a hair closer to her potty sitting child. But, I'm the frazzled type of Mama who was a few steps away removing from the premises little sister Amaya who was hellbent on dropping Chase's Mickey Mouse phone into the commode. Meanwhile...

Chase: My mouth is dirty, too. Better clean it off.

And he does. With the same tissue. Why me? And that's just what I asked.

Mama: Why Chase? Why?
Chase: It's okay Mama. Try again.

Oh we will dear, we will. But not until after we disinfect you child.