Thursday, October 12, 2006

You are now entering the Northern Virginia Zone

Do do do do do do do do...

Northern Virginia is a very odd place. Nothing at all like where I grew up in good old West by Golly Virginia. People here have their own outlook on life--and it usually just involves them. Very self centered culture. Wealthy. Impatient. No use for the niceties of please, thank you and bless you. Not all Northern Virginians mind you, but enough of them to give the are a reputation that no mother would want for her child.

For your reading pleasure, I offer you two examples of how life in Northern Virginia varies greatly from that of Sweet Home West Virginia.

Exhibit A: The unfazed bystander

So, I went to Target today with the baby. Now anyone with a baby knows one thing: you never have as many hands as you need.

Luckily, our car has a button that you push to open the trunk. Giving you the feeling of having a third arm without looking like an alien. So I'm walking along, pushing my cart full of new found treasures and carrying one baby in a car seat when I push that magical button to open the trunk. At this same time, there is a guy walking toward me about 2 cars down from my own. Well, the trunk starts to open...gets halfway there--when suddenly there is this unnaturally loud "thud thud BANG" I kid you not I jumped 4 inches off the ground it was so loud. Upon my return to earth, I realized that the cacophony was caused by the massiveness that is Chase's stroller flying out of the car and rolling across the parking lot. Seriously his stroller is huge and it flew--flew from the back of the SUV. Anyway...To the point of this post. Amid all of this utter chaos, this man walking toward the flying baby mover never flinches, jumps or even glances in the direction of the assault. As if one sees flying strollers daily. Never stops to ask if a mother with a young child and lots of bags needs help picking up the gigantic stroller now in the middle of the parking lot. Just keeps walking on his path toward the heaven of Target--must not stray from the mission of acquiring toilet paper and a copy of The Little Mermaid on DVD. Now in WV, I'd have had three people offering to help, one grandma giving me advice on the proper placement of strollers in cars and Uncle Sid offering to take a look at the undercarriage of my car to be sure that nothing had broken during flight. Oh how I miss thee mountain momma.

Exhibit B: How else can we spend all of our money

It has become a common sight to see paid workers standing by signs along intersections. I assume they are not allowed to sit as I have rarely seen anyone on his tookus. Usually immigrants, they stand next to the advertisement for a store closing or going out of business sale for hours and hours. Doesn't matter if it's hot, cold, snowing, raining or hailing: if someone's willing to stand there then there is a business willing to pay him to do it. I myself never really understood how this actually convinced people to attend the close out sale, but no one asked me for my opinion. If they did, I'd charge way more for it than what they pay these sign cozies.

Today on the way home from Target, I noticed that a certain politician running for congress has taken it upon himself to employ this somewhat sketchy marketing practice. Yes, there were about 6 completely bored teenagers standing next to his signage along Rt. 50. All in a nice big clump so that you couldn't miss them. Now, had they been enthusiastically shaking the signs, I'd have thought they were the idealistic teenagers that people write TV shows about. But, no these kids were slouched over, playing with their cell phones, listening to MP3 players...looking like they were just basically just there for the pay day. Who is financing his campaign--cause if it were me, I'd have a thing or two to say about this particular usage of funds. Or maybe they weren't being paid--maybe it's the new form of punishment for staying out too late. No matter the reason they were there, for this registered voter, it's definitely a mark in the CONS column.

There you have it--just two of the examples that help to prove the fact that I'm not in Almost Heaven anymore.


  1. Anonymous9:18 PM

    Your son is adorable! What a charming boy. I'm sorry no one would help you with your Target parking lot woes. Sometimes people just don't give a darn about others. Thanks for visiting my blog. It's fun to see other babies the same age as my Annabear. :)

  2. Too freaking funny! You have such a gift for writing.