Thursday, November 08, 2007

Reply hazy, try again

Drew came back from New York carrying a very enticing red box containing a surprise for me. Even without the use of a Magic 8 Ball, I could have predicted the arrival of this lovely box as I require a present from Drew whenever I'm left at home to fend for myself while he gets to travel to exciting places and meet exciting people and eat exciting new foods. Sure he says it's work, but I know better. The size of this mandated gift is determined by a very complex mathematical formula involving such variables as the amount of time he'll be gone, the draw of the location that he's headed to and my current mood. Given the difficulty of the calculation, you can clearly see that I am the only one who is capable of determining the required parameters for my bounty.

Even though Drew tried to dupe me by stating that he could see a DressBarn from his hotel window, I know that this New York gift is sure to be a good one due to the fact the he was staying within a stone's throw of 5th Avenue. Plus, he knows how I feel about DressBarn after the Busted Zipper Incident of 07. As I'm getting ready to pick up this lovely package and rip into it like it's raw meat and I'm a starving lion, he says, "Merry Christmas Mellon".

Come again? I have to wait until Christmas to open that baby?! I am quite sure that I never agreed to such a deal despite his constant mumbling about Amendment 476 to section B paragraph 9. Now, does he really think that I'm going to let him get away with this chicanery? Outlook not so good.


  1. Samantha7:55 AM's how you plead your case; if he got you this particular red-boxed item for "Christmas" then what did he get you for his time away?
    Good luck, I'm rooting for you!!

  2. LOVE the commentary, as usual.