Rock, Paper, Scissors with the female offspring to determine who gets the last pancake. Lose. Pout.
Arrive at school to find cross dressing elf must have friends:
Cease pouting.
Talk with teammates about scat. As in poop. For far too many minutes. Chuckle like a 10 year old boy. Realize it's true that you are who you hang out with all day.
Spend 225 minutes grading tests, organizing Geo Bee, writing interims, delegating party duties, answering emails, tallying permission slips, and filling out behavior reports while DARE officer talks about pressure. Eh? Pressure? No experience with that. More coffee please.
Eat cake for lunch. 15 minutes later, want more cake.
Arrive at gym. Realize I can either remember a water bottle or a hair tie, but never both. Begin crafting detailed postulates to explain the inability for both items to be in my possession at the same time when anywhere near a place of exercise. Blow hair out of face for 5000th time while taking a giant gulp of lukewarm water. Contemplate shaving it all off.
Still want cake. Eat a banana instead. Taste buds neither fooled nor amused.
Make dinner utilizing leeks as an ingredient. Smell like leeks for rest of evening. Kinda like it.
Have 10 minute conversation with Amaya in attempt to explain the meaning of the word ornery. Chase sums it up: You're just trouble Amaya. Close enough.
Surf internets for a bit before sleep. Find this:
Begin outlining diabolical plan to get students to cut and dye thousands of triangles so I can copy Yuko Takada Keller's work. Wonder if this in some way violates child labor laws. Decide it doesn't. Yet think it best not to mention it to DARE officer.
Sit down to write a blog post. Stare at screen. Fingers move. Words appear. Wonder if they make sense to anyone but me. Doubt it.
Your Mom translated this story for me and I got a laugh out of it. Cross-dressing elf?.....Does Santa know about this?
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